@AbbyHasIssues: Sorry, package of water bottles. I'm only making one trip from the car with these grocery bags, so you're sleeping in the car tonight.
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@Jay_FrickinLynn: I accidently opened the fitness app and my phone immediately called to report itself stolen.
@stealingyergirl: [bedtime] Son: Can you leave the light on? Me: So it'll be easier for the monsters to find you? Son: What? Me: What?