@cravin4: Sorry Taco Bell, but I came up with the Naked Chicken Chalupa before you did. Well actually Ambien did & I'm still banned from Taco Bell.
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@caliluvgirl77: Columbus: SO THIS IS INDIA Natives: actually it's no- C: HI INDIANS N: no see, we are nowhere near- C: INDIA IS FUN LETS EAT YOUR FOOD
@psybermonkey: Friend: you can come to the party if you promise not to do that weird thing where you talk about salad dressing Me: fine [Later] Me: hey would you guys rather own a ranch or a thousand islands
@BlondieBGbb: Just read "four years after pregnancy 38% of moms still were not drinking" I think it's safe to say this survey was not done on Twitter.
@Thynebear: [puts baby in highchair] Ohhh HIGH chair, I get it. That explains why all you do is eat, sleep & drool you stupid little stoner.