how to talk to a woman wearing headphones:
1. be the artist she has currently chosen to listen to through her headphones
Me: “Facebook or Twitter?”
Me: “Have a nice life.”
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She’s got a great personality!
It’s the other 6 personalities that I’m worried about….
In case you haven’t checked Facebook,
It’s hot today, the fireworks were beautiful, and 32 friends invited you to play candy crush!
It’s getting Hot In Herre, so take off all your clothes! Also, drink this water because I don’t want you to get dehydrated.
I JUST CONSUMED SO MUCH SUGAR THAT I FEEL ALL SHOUTY IN MY HEAD AND CAPS LOCKY AND HOLY CRAP HOW DO PEOPLE DO ACTUAL DRUGS
I ruined my diet to finish the last 5 donuts in the office because my coworkers are on a diet too so yeah, I sacrifice for the people I love
“I’m going to show off my new belt by tucking in my T-shirt” -Men over 50.
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
Everyone knows someone in real life that actually resembles a garden gnome.
Whenever I meet a guy named Paul, I ask if it’s short for Paula, then I laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & making friends is hard. 🙁