[slips the bus driver £20]
“Maybe you let me ride the bus for free?”
Me: “Toilet paper, over or under?”
Me: *flips table* NEXT!!!!!
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If a vampire bites his tongue, does his tongue become a vampire? Tongpire?
Entrepreneurs will work hard and put in 120% for years only for one article to tell you that their secret is that they do yoga at 4.30am 🙄🙄🙄
I think I might have a shower.
Yes, I have a shower.
Who called them reply guys instead of first responders?
Writing cuss words on the white space of textbook pages is marginally offensive.
So he says ” Nice glasses” and I say ” Thanks! They’re for seeing ”
Student begins reading poem, teacher interrupts “No this is Creative WRITHING class” Other student squirms around on floor “Very good Todd”