[Spelling Bee]
-Your word is phlegm
-Can you use it in a sentence?
*loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*

You Might Also Like


To impress the guys I told them I was dating an artist. I didn’t tell them her preferred medium was sandwiches.


Walnuts aren’t the same when they’re not surrounded by a brownie.


I’m an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me.


“I’m too important too attend the training on the new system. When I need to get in it you can walk me through it each time”



Took our cat to the vet today and, once again, she “forgot” her wallet.


Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.


Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?


Me: I think my computer’s broken

Boss: just give it to the IT guy

Me: okay *walks outside and tosses my laptop into the sewer* good luck