@eeberquist

spent the better part of an hour looking and it really is impossible to pick a favorite Far Side

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@MottoMan_

Gyms closed. So this summer gone be about personality.

@carlyken

I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house.

@HatfieldAnne

No, give me the blue mittens for shoveling. The red ones are for scandal.

@DannyZuker

The most romantic restaurant in the world is not as dimly lit as the operating room on a TV medical drama.

@AtticusFinch79

Attention Walmart Shoppers –

There is someone dressed
Appropriately in
Aisle 12

@OhNoSheTwitnt

Beauty & the Beast 2 is just 90 minutes of Belle and the prince shopping for new furniture after it all turned back into people.

@karenphotog

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have”
Now I am sitting in a disciplinary meeting in my Wonder Woman costume.

@4ScoreN20Bowls

robber: me n Lenny will handle this job tonight, obviously you’re gonna be lookout again…sorry Joe

giraffe: this is bullshit Steve