@snack_lord

Spider Can, Spider Can, bunch of spiders in a can. Shake it up, spiders mad, open it, they bite your hand. Look out! I have a spider can

You Might Also Like

@LoveNLunchmeat

Quick question: How many bowls of mac and cheese can you eat during a Skype job interview before you look unprofessional?

@Puncroaker

My superhero name is Typoman. I am the writer of wrongs.

@AnOrangeSNES

Shaggy: Scoob you can’t smoke nitrate ester, you’ll explode!
Scooby Doo: RONO?! *Explodes and dies*

@awesomeseank

Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and “we’ll see what happens” is considered inappropriate.

@iRowlf

I’d like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful.
“Sir, those are Band-Aids.”
Oh, I’d like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some.

@KeetPotato

me: “beetle rabbit”
boss: “that’s a terrible idea for a cartoon”
jim who always steals my ideas but makes them better somehow: “bugs bunny?”

@dataisplural

*gets caught kissing an optical illusion* it’s not what it looks like!