@Dustinkcouch: me: i liked that movie :) The Person Who Has Read The Book: it was way different than the book me: oh ok The Person Who Has Read The Book: i read the book me: i really liked the score :) The Person Who Has Read The Book: the book didn't have music

@notalogin: The average person swallows 8 spiders in their sleep but it's actually one guy who's chowing down like 7500 a night to make the numbers work

@lildandeli0n: Caller: I'm your worst nightmare. Me: Whaaat?? You're a sugar free cookie??

@cameronesposito: i married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored

@SeymourDLindsay: Some say the glass is half empty. Some say it’s half full. I ask “Are you going to finish that?”.