“How often do you exercise?”
About 3 to 4 times a week.
Spoiler alert: Your ’97 Nissan Sentra doesn’t need one.
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This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
They said no texting while driving but they never said anything about giving four ferrets a nice bubble bath
“So, you’re going that way? Cool. Me too.”
“Your mission… Should you chose to accept it…”
*Go to a bar you Hate
*Put $50 in the Jukebox
*Play nothing but Nickelback
Two things I learned this weekend are:
1. I’m not too old to get in a hammock.
2. I’m too old to get out of a hammock.
Thanks for telling me your astrological sign, cause now I know a lot about your personality. Like you are a gullible dummy.
Music takes practice. Before they were Duran Duran they had to Duwalk Duwalk.
A world without racism exists in traffic. The anger, cursing and honking is truly based on the ability to drive, not the content of the car.
him: [slipping my panties off] why are u wearing 2 pairs of panties
me: I’m not
him: [sliding another pair off] omg how many are u wearing