Fun Adult Game: put your keys down. walk out of room. now try and remember where your keys are
spot whats sandpaper like?
whats the long grass on a golf course called?
whats the job market like?
d: steadily improving
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The Hobbit 4:
Bilbo’s relatives auction off his stuff
Bilbo puts on his ring
One by one, his relatives die under mysterious circumstances
I better help you finish that whiskey before it spoils.
I’m like a swan. But not in the elegant grace way, in the way I’m surprisingly violent if you get between me and bread.
Friend: Would you ever get a tattoo?
Him: You’re afraid to make a permanent mistake.
Me: *looks at my 4 kids* Way ahead of you.
LOL pills that say don’t take with alcohol. Ok Doc, how do YOU
suggest I take my medication then?
Whenever someone says smart phones are turning people into zombies, look up from your phone just long enough to bite them.
If Jesus died for our sins then why are there so many popups when i try to watch a movie online illegally
Family: come play dodgeball
Fam: oh come on
Me: no thanks
Fam: JUST PLAY
Me: *nails 6 year old in the face*