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@Gre_Gone: *stares into the abyss*
*abyss pretends it's doing something on its phone*
@brianbowman73: Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses.
Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous...
@onelongbender: Dave is coming over.
"Dave Wilson or Dave who thinks he's Spider-Man?"
[loud thud on the roof]
BACK DOOR IS OPEN, DAVE
@: Me: Is the natural state of the soul quiet or chaos?
Taco Bell cashier: Look buddy, it’s transient, shifting like water
@MountainDouche: I have a question for you guys. After the door bell rings, how long do I have to wait to turn the TV volume back up and make any movement?
@GuyAdvisor: Me: You know, talking to yourself doesn't make you crazy.
Me: I know, right?
Me: It's a sign of advanced intelligence.