Start letting police dip their finger in the drugs and have a taste like in the movies. Recruiting problems solved.

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I keep waiting for my Cadbury Creme Eggs to hatch into Cadbury Creme Chickens, but no luck so far. And sitting on them certainly didn’t help


My fondest childhood memory is thinking that $100 is a lot of money.


If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it’s almost not worth it


i have no electricity today bc of the snowstorm so i was forced to talk to my husband and son they seem nice.


In the waning days of 2016, anything can happen. Even mystery pants.


goals for 2016:

1) spend more time with my son
2) learn about his fav video games
3) defeat him
4) become video game household champion



“What’s your greatest weakness?”

*I look at my watch then lean in*

How much time do you have?


Becky on FB is “too blessed to be stressed” so I told her that I slept with her boyfriend.