@copymama

Starting to miss the kids after 5 days at grandma’s, so I wistfully dumped a bin of toys on the floor and sprinkled crumbs on the couch.

Starting to miss the kids after 5 days at grandma’s, so I wistfully dumped a bin of toys on the floor and sprinkled crumbs on the couch.

- @copymama

You Might Also Like

@IrishVin

I love walking down the street smiling to myself. It really freaks people out. Especially if my trousers are round my ankles.

@Sandrahadenough

Hubby: This dinner is not gonna make itself!!!!!

And that ladies and Gentleman is how I starred on “COPS”

@WheelTod

If you’re dying, and have recently lost your car keys, take the opportunity, as your life flashes before your eyes, to try to spot them!

@GMPaiella

The part of the Bible I relate to the most is when Jesus makes a scene at the farmers market

@UncleDuke1969

“Wow, cell phones are getting ridiculously big.”

“That’s a smart car.”

@flashember

[Cop questioning suspected watermelon thief]
COP: *squints* Was it you?
GIRAFFE (who has watermelon-sized bulge halfway down his neck): Nope

@ch000ch

hello 9-1-1? my girlfriend’s been kidnapped
“stay calm sir, what’s ur girlfriend’s name”
oh she goes to another school u wouldn’t know her