No I don’t want to ride in a basket beneath your giant flying fire tent.
step 1. log onto instagram
step 2. find wedding day hashtags, ex. “SmithWedding2014”
step 3. use hashtag
step 4. post pictures of yaks
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*Dive rolls across the room naked
Her- Why don’t you just buy curtains?
My cat’s tongue is like a little piece of sandpaper. I’m scratched to hell but this floor is almost finished.
*gets rescue dog with the idea that I will excercise more*
*dog now also fat*
[Chris Hemsworth posts 85 videos of him working out hard, eating right, and looking amazing]
Me: must be good genetics
a little girl walked up to me at the grocery store calling me “mommy” and her dad came up behind her and said “no she’s at home why am i not enough” LMAOOOOOOOO
You shouldn’t judge people. What if that bloke outside your window with a clown mask and knife is just a chef that lost his way.
When I see someone at a carwash late at night, I assume they’ve just committed murder.
Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn’t burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You.
If you’re creepy and you know it ~~~> buy a van