@derekblackmon: Still laughing about that time my grandmother said God told her to put my grandfather in an asylum because he was hearing voices in his head
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@DocAroundThClok: [ER Triage Room] NURSE: So what brought you in tonight? GUY WITH NAIL IN HEAD: My ‘98 Toyota Corolla, but I don’t see how that’s important right now
@rainerfm: My boss got hit by a car while I was on my way to the wishing well so yes, I do have some spare change.
@jjhartinger: War & Peace wasn't written to be downloaded on your iPad, Carol. Tolstoy wrote it for you to carry around and impress people with.