We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@JohnHilsen: Stop burning bridges. They're not even good kindling. Just use sticks.
@HarleyPlays: If I was in the military, I would be a sniper. That way I can lie down a lot.
@Shen_the_Bird: genie: i will grant you any wish
me: i wish soup was spelled like soop
genie: [frowning] no
@glenyrd: I'm so glad we could finally reconnect after all these years because I'd really like your help on my virtual farm.
@CantWaitToNap: *Flings your voodoo doll out into the snow*
You cold, bro?
@WilliamRodgers: My daughter does this thing where she copies EVERYTHING the dog does; Bark, beg, fetch etc. It was adorable!
Until the dog humped the couch