@FuckabillyRex: Stop talking about being sad. Use a bigger word like despondent so people will at least think you're an intelligent cry baby.
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@George_404: "Why'd you name me Carson, dad?" You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.
@daddydoubts: My kid is not a good sleeper so I’ll fight pretty much anyone about pretty much anything.
@david8hughes: "The toilet's blocked pretty bad so I called the plumber. Should be here later tod-" [Bowser spits coffee] "Which plumber?"