It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
STOP talking shit about F•R•I•E•N•D•S
Rachel is KIND
Monica is NURTURING
Joey is CONSIDERATE
Phoebe is TALENTED
Chandler is FUNNY
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*goes 100mph in Prius
*gets pulled over by police
*Throws up some gang signs*
*stabs self in eye with salad fork*
Hubs: Next time you do the Macarena, put your fork down.
paul mccartney: all the lonely people, where do they all come from? all the lonely people, where do they all belong?
[from back of the room]: twitter
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO RUIN IT WITH SEX. SURE, YOU’RE ATTRACTIVE, THEY JUST DON’T SEE YOU IN THAT WAY
Looking back at all the successes & failures in my life, I can’t help but be proud that at least the potty training thing stuck.
I’m going to get a tattoo of my one true love.
I wanted to start writing a sewing blog
But I lost my thread
[in someone else’s master bathroom]
5-year-old: They have two sinks.
5: One for each hand.
*Sees dead cat on the road.
Walk it off buddy, you got 8 more.