@mrs_campfire

STOP talking shit about F•R•I•E•N•D•S

Rachel is KIND

Monica is NURTURING

Joey is CONSIDERATE

Phoebe is TALENTED

Ross

Chandler is FUNNY

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@man_spach

It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.

@GingerHotDish

*Throws up some gang signs*
*stabs self in eye with salad fork*

Hubs: Next time you do the Macarena, put your fork down.

@FredTaming

paul mccartney: all the lonely people, where do they all come from? all the lonely people, where do they all belong?

[from back of the room]: twitter

@ItsAndyRyan

HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO RUIN IT WITH SEX. SURE, YOU’RE ATTRACTIVE, THEY JUST DON’T SEE YOU IN THAT WAY

@girl_a_whirl

Looking back at all the successes & failures in my life, I can’t help but be proud that at least the potty training thing stuck.

@PunnyShite

I’m going to get a tattoo of my one true love.

The potato.

@shay_bayla

I wanted to start writing a sewing blog

But I lost my thread

@XplodingUnicorn

[in someone else’s master bathroom]

5-year-old: They have two sinks.

Me: Yeah.

5: One for each hand.