@aissalanis: Stop telling people to cut toxic relationships out of their lives! I’m starting to run out of friends you guys.
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@kibblesmith: It would be awesome if the Joker movie ended with Batman yelling “Oh HELL no” off camera and swooping in and just beating the absolute shit out of him.”
@AbbyHasIssues: Me at home: I want peace on earth and good will to men. Me while grocery shopping: If one more idiot blocks the aisle, I'm going to run them over with my cart like grandma getting run over by a reindeer.
@daemonic3: [spelling bee] Your word is 'impossible' "Oh, well I guess no point in trying" *walks off stage*