@rickygervais

Suggested Thanksgiving Conversation starters: “Which God are we thanking again?”
You’re welcome 🙂

You Might Also Like

@copymama

My kids just deliberated over which pumpkins to pick at the patch for longer than I deliberated whether to get pregnant with them.

@singleplaiddad

I know this social distancing is hard for people – it’s new – it’s difficult and lonely…

But remember…

If Sasquatch can do it…

So can you…

@CantWaitToNap

When a cop asks you to exit your vehicle, it’s not so he can take a selfie with you.
I know this now.

@Phook75

Considering we’ve produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I’m more surprised other countries haven’t built a wall around the U.S.

@SouthernStylin1

9 called to ask how much bleach it takes to get purple ink out of carpet and because she’s so cute and at her dad’s I went with all of it!

@TheCatWhisprer

I just laid on my cat’s keyboard while he was working on a last minute PowerPoint presentation.

@ddsmidt

Me: It’s not what you said, it’s the way you said it!

Husband: *Doesn’t even realize we had a conversation*

@MikeBigby

*Belle falls in love with Beast*

Everyone: STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!! Called it!

*Belle speaks to furniture*

Everyone: this is fine

@roxiqt

In any relationship, you have to accept some of your partners quirks & they must accept some of yours. Some people chew loudly. Some people snore. Some people leave the door open so a large opossum can sleep on the couch because he likes the couch & it’s too cold outside anyways.

@notacroc

Golfer: *lining up his shot* what do you think?
Me (first day as a caddy): *reaching for a club* i think you should try your best