Suggested Thanksgiving Conversation starters: “Which God are we thanking again?”
You’re welcome 🙂

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My kids just deliberated over which pumpkins to pick at the patch for longer than I deliberated whether to get pregnant with them.


I know this social distancing is hard for people – it’s new – it’s difficult and lonely…

But remember…

If Sasquatch can do it…

So can you…


When a cop asks you to exit your vehicle, it’s not so he can take a selfie with you.
I know this now.


Considering we’ve produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I’m more surprised other countries haven’t built a wall around the U.S.


9 called to ask how much bleach it takes to get purple ink out of carpet and because she’s so cute and at her dad’s I went with all of it!


I just laid on my cat’s keyboard while he was working on a last minute PowerPoint presentation.


Me: It’s not what you said, it’s the way you said it!

Husband: *Doesn’t even realize we had a conversation*


*Belle falls in love with Beast*

Everyone: STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!! Called it!

*Belle speaks to furniture*

Everyone: this is fine


In any relationship, you have to accept some of your partners quirks & they must accept some of yours. Some people chew loudly. Some people snore. Some people leave the door open so a large opossum can sleep on the couch because he likes the couch & it’s too cold outside anyways.


Golfer: *lining up his shot* what do you think?
Me (first day as a caddy): *reaching for a club* i think you should try your best