@SardonicTart
@caseytduncan
But I’m the good kind of abomination, right???
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@caseytduncan
@LelooAssassin
only thing keeping me from being stripper is about 60 pounds
@InternetHippo
*gets a series of eyebrow rings*
*hangs little curtains from them to cover my face*
@Bexdora
My Mother worries about me living in London sometimes.
I tell her it’s not London she has to worry about.
I just injured myself on a potato.
@panmidwest
Ok, all you people who adopt dogs and put “who rescued who?” stickers on your car… you drive me crazy!
Clearly it’s “who rescued whom?”
@leducviolet
Scientists have identified the dog particle. It is a good particle. Such a good particle yes it is. Does it want a treatsy weatsy yes it doe
@_Prozach74
Ignorance is only bliss until you wish you knew the answer
@ch000ch
ME, HOLDING A MIC TO MY DOG’S MOUTH: who’s a good boy
DOG: your mom
ME: please take this seriously
@primawesome
Showering at a woman’s house is like being at an open bar for conditioners.
@Lisa_Laughs_
Just waiting to hear those three special words… “there’s no evidence.”