I RT a bunch of awesome stuff. nnBecause its funny. And I needed to hide my tweets from last night.
Sure reading a book under a tree is peaceful but imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see a bunch of it’s dead friends in your hand.
You Might Also Like
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
Him: we should name this time period
Me: the good depression
Him: ok i like depression but the descriptor has to be something more than just “good”
Me [after consulting my good friend tony the tiger]: hear me out
Him: If they ask you any questions, just play stupid. You know nothing….
Me: Oh, I think I can handle that.
Me: *Eating eggs*
Fertility Doctor: That’s disgusting
Person: *falls in love with me*
Me: I have felt bad for a spoon I accidentally threw away because it probably thinks I don’t want it anymore and, why is it the only spoon the in the trash.
Person: ok cool, never mind.
Impractical Joke: Replace my girlfriends house cat’s with mountain lions so she think’s she is shrinking.
RACCOON: I haven’t been feeling so good lately
DOCTOR: We’ll let’s see. Have you been staying up all night?
DOCTOR: What have you been eating?
DOCTOR: Well you’re doing all the right things
Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that didn’t let it’s daughter go to prom
A shopping mall. Drake walks past a man dressed as Santa, who yells out, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
“Yeah,” Drake sighs as he keeps walking. “She was.”