@ChipKellysBalls: Sylvester Stallone is looking more and more like G.I Joe doll put in a microwave on high for twenty minutes
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@KenJennings: The thing about liking Kanye is that no matter how into him you are, you're AT BEST his #2 fan.
@harrows_: God said, "Thou shall not kill" And then he wiped out the entire human race with a global flood just because people didn't take it seriously
@AndrewNadeau0: DATE: Tell me about yourself ME: I own 7 pens! D: I meant, like, something personal M:*Sadly* I lie about how many pens I own to impress ppl
@cray_at_home_ma: Sorry I told you we should definitely hang out sometime and then didn't answer my phone for 5 years