‘Take this and your life will suck differently.’

~ pharmaceutical ads

You Might Also Like


My husband drives me to drink.

Unless a friend volunteers.


I bet the worst part about kidnapping someone is knowing they are just sitting there in your trunk, judging your choice in music.


Walked past a group of cats that meowed at me so I meowed back. They stopped meowing and now I’m worried I said something homeowphobic


rt if you’d call your friend just to tell them that potatoes came to japan in 1600


imagining an 18 year old X Æ A-12 trying to think of an online password but just using his name


Devil: Welcome to Hell. Do you know why you’re here?

Me: Um…

D: Seriously?

M: …

D: Arianna, you told your kids they couldn’t have brownie dough because it would give them salmonella and then you ate that shit with your hands after they left.



Freudian Slip.

What Freud wore under his skirt when he cross dressed on weekends.


You ever had a pen that wrote so smooth you be hype about taking notes