The movie ‘Up’ is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn’t die.
*takes a hit off the joint
This is the best baked sale ever
“It’s a BAKE sale”
Tell me about it
You Might Also Like
If I’ve learned anything from movies, it’s that if you are investigating something important and get shot, you have to leave the hospital, even though the doctors say you shouldn’t.
I’m skipping the gym today because I already have a six pack…
waiting for me in the fridge at home.
Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says “I’m going to have to cancel tonight”
My wedding anniversary is next week. Does anyone have an idea for a gift that conveys the sentiment ‘our love is priceless’ for under $75?
You have CrossFit, I bathe 3 children in one evening.
Weird how my husband is so adamant about not having more animals for someone who’s going to own more animals.
Yes hello 911, I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and now there’s a wormhole in my kitchen
In 20 years, I bet there’s going to be a college course called eye contact.
Men at the supermarket are like fish in an aquarium. Silent, with no recollection of how or why they got there.