@NurseMurderer: taking cats to the vet is hard because you can't lie and be like, "we are going to the park!" since they don't want to go there either.
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@AbbyHasIssues: I missed two of my mom's calls, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called.
@mommajessiec: Husband: *leaves to run an errand* Me: *crosses out “get husband to leave” off to-do list*
@Fredzipfel: Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color