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@jonnysun

[2005, youtube’s first pitch meeting]
ok so basicaly its like if america’s funniest home videos was on 24 hrs a day on evrey computer–
SOLD

@simoncholland

My daughter wants to be something scary for Halloween this year so she’s going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.

@greg_vee

I hate when someone steals my idea before I’ve had it.

@WorldWideWob

the problem with being nice to people is you end up getting invited to their wedding.

@alexapelagio

Why do smurfs laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls ????

@Jake_Vig

BOSS: Don’t just stand there.

ME: Bust a move?

BOSS: What?

ME: Nothing, I’ll go make some copies.

@RocketRankoon

Facebook: “Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!”
Me: *backs away slowly*
[My Twitter origin story]