@ryanaboyd: Tarantino’s Star Trek is 100% going to feature a planet where white people have to say the N-word to survive
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@Angrea: OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: The good thing about being a chubby chaser is you don't have to run very fast or very far.
@Reverend_Scott: "Charlie, I want a divorce." [in a black robe sacrificing a chicken on a satanic blood alter] Why?
@ArfMeasures: [Bar] HOT GIRL: When I think someone is hot, I just agree with literally anything they say ME: That's interesting HOT GIRL: No it isn't