[God creates walking]
[God creates running]
Humans: haha nope
Taylor Swift just waved at a boy and he didn’t wave back so now she’s got a new album coming out tomorrow.
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I’m by far not the best person but by far the worst thing I’ve ever done is accidentally touch the mailman through my house’s mail slot. I have never before heard the sort of noise he made after reaching into what he hoped was the cold embrace of a mail slot and finding a hand.
If you don’t think kids will find literally anything to fight about you’ve clearly never witnessed an argument over the colors orange and purple
I’m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
Ugh I hate living next to an art school I dragged an old couch outside and a bunch of dudes came over and they’re just taking pictures of it
My mom found a Barbie Dreamhouse at a garage sale when I was a kid, but all the stickers were ripped off so I drew on appliances and wallpaper. Debbie, down the street, called it Barbie Crackhouse and now she wants to be my friend on Facebook? Ha!
Kenya please explain why you called Chad a Niger? You Congo around using words like that or all of a Sudan you Ghana have no place Togo
17: I’m locked out
Me: The spare key is in the fake rock behind the pillar
17: What’s the fake rock look like?
The only gardening I’m interested in doing right now is Olive Gardening