help keep the English language alive by teaching your kids nearly outdated expressions
Plus nothing beats a 5yo pointing & yelling “BEHOLD!”
Team SnapChat: Merry Christmas!
Me (tear rolling down my cheek): they remembered
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If by ‘paleontologist’ you mean I can name all 5 shapes in the box of dinosaur chicken nuggets then, yes, I am a paleontologist.
me: i trained my dog to talk
her: let’s see
me: describe sandpaper
me: the outer layer of a tree
her: this sucks
me: that little rapper guy
dog: bow wow
When the DJ asks if we are ready to party I sometimes lie & say yes even though I really need like 10 min to get ready
dad to his crying baby: shhh stop crying
[baby keeps crying]
me: wow, your baby does not listen
students: i broke 18 ribs can i be excused from this absence
professor: tough shit
same professor: well kids unfortunately i stepped in a puddle with socks on so class will be cancelled indefinitely
interviewer: how would u describe yourself
As a child, it really stressed me out that Rocky was late to his second fight with Apollo Creed. I mean, don’t be late to that.
Me: when I grow up, I want to be an astronaut
Dad: to find all the undiscovered wonders of the universe?
Me (thinking about the many breeds of space dog I haven’t pet): yes, exactly