@mrfeelswildride: teenagers are like 'here to live well not to live long :)' yet shriek in terror when I appear before them in alleyways wielding a scythe
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@hazelmotes1: It seems to me that if you can afford a barrel and a pair or suspenders you can afford a pair of pants.
@captainkalvis: friend: whats the matter me: just found out i have a latex allergy friend: oh shit that means you can't- me: *tearing up* eat anymore balloons
@hookmeupinit: Just bit into a Pop Tart so hot that it caused me to involuntarily perform the falsetto "ah-ha-ha-ha-" intro to Stayin' Alive
@MaraWritesStuff: "Your former crush likes this thing" "Your former crush likes this thing" "Your former crush likes this thing" -Facebook