Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

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Weird old lady in the elevator complimented my thongs. I was disgusted. Hours later that I realized she was talking about my sandals.


The people who came up with all these different rules for pluralization are bunch of peni.


Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.


saying monkeys r ur favorite animal is basically saying u like a shorter, hairier version of urself who can only communicate by screaming


I just told my boss that “STFU” stands for “Sincere Thanks For Understanding” and it’s REALLY important that none of you tell him otherwise