@Midgetspar: Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until Creepy Stan from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
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@Kristen_Arnett: ah yes writing, that thing i do where i open a word document and then get up and start cleaning my entire house
@causticbob: I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" I thought to myself "That sounds like a fair trade"
@T_Bonezzz_: [ First Date ] Her: OMG, I've been talking about myself all night. Tell me a little bit about yourself.. Me: HODOR...