Kinda cool how they based an entire country off of Mexican food.
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*puts candle inside and places it on doorstep
Friend: you should come over tonight. we’re watching ‘How to Train Your Dragon 2’
Me: to what?
It’s fun to stay at the!
I hate when I drop my chili cheese dog in my car and then I have to eat my whole car.
They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it’s gone.
I accidentally ate one of my dog’s bones and OH MY GOD THE MAILMAN’S OUTSIDE
“Did you just fall?” “No. I attacked the floor.” “Backwards?” “I’m freaking talented!”
Read an article that said Google is making us dumber. whatever, I’ve always used Google and I’m super [googles synonym for smart] able.