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@MsLighthouseCat: Texans can't comprehend vegans. We just think their barbeque grills are broken.
@Rollinintheseat: Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin.
@iwearaonesie: “I said, ‘No’”
- me, about to give my dog my sandwich
@ClichedOut: 1. Ghosts are see-through
2. Windows are see-through
3. Ghosts are windows
@Darlainky: No Teflon coated pan has ever been a match for my husband and his love of stirring with sharp utensils.
@KeetPotato: me: "what is a librarian's favourite food?"
me: "SHUSHI lmao"
dog: [starts putting his toys in suitcase]