@Queen_Sassy_AF

Thank you for the “avi is not me” disclaimer in your bio. I was thinking David Hasselhoff sure isn’t very popular on here with 13 followers

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@Whitnuts

I always try to tell myself that I don’t actually hate people as much as I say I do…and then I go to the mall.

@imteddybless

something that I miss about being a child is people asking me what my favourite shape is. adults don’t do this.it’s a rhombus. u don’t care

@LindzThoughts

If maxi pad commercials didn’t exist, us women would have no idea that we’re full of blue windshield wiper fluid.

@Jenny4ashley

Am I relying on you to cover up all these blood stains after murdering my ex?

BLEACH I MIGHT BE

@Smooheed

I miss dating

The excitement of meeting someone new, that feeling of butterflies when you see if you can climb out their bathroom window…

@TurnpikeTony

“Dora” only rhymes with “Explorer” if you’re from Long Island, New York

@wickedimproper

St. Peter: “Spock?”

Leonard Nimoy: “I’m Leonard. Spock was just a character I played on TV.”

St. Peter: “HEY EVERYBODY! IT’S SPOCK!”

@3BlindMike

How early do I need to start thawing the cat for Thanksgiving?

@CaniacMONK

I hope I get a good grade on my kids science project this year.