Thank you for the “avi is not me” disclaimer in your bio. I was thinking David Hasselhoff sure isn’t very popular on here with 13 followers

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I always try to tell myself that I don’t actually hate people as much as I say I do…and then I go to the mall.


something that I miss about being a child is people asking me what my favourite shape is. adults don’t do this.it’s a rhombus. u don’t care


If maxi pad commercials didn’t exist, us women would have no idea that we’re full of blue windshield wiper fluid.


Am I relying on you to cover up all these blood stains after murdering my ex?



I miss dating

The excitement of meeting someone new, that feeling of butterflies when you see if you can climb out their bathroom window…


“Dora” only rhymes with “Explorer” if you’re from Long Island, New York


St. Peter: “Spock?”

Leonard Nimoy: “I’m Leonard. Spock was just a character I played on TV.”



How early do I need to start thawing the cat for Thanksgiving?


I hope I get a good grade on my kids science project this year.