If you have sex with someone from another country, make sure you give your best, cause you’ll be representing the whole country. Make us proud.
Thank you for your comment did you use some kind of random word generator?
You Might Also Like
Sally: I Love You Mommy!
Me: Melts into a puddle.
Sally(5 minutes later to her breakfast): I Love You Waffles.
Me: Oh. ??
Carl, did you get naked when you used the bathroom?
*standing there with his shirt & pants on backwards*
“No…why do you ask?”
Me: What if itches are just ghost spiders haunting your body?
Children: Wait, what?
Me, switching off light: Nothing, g’night kids
I stopped trying to be a thug when I found out there was something called a caramel Frappuccino.
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I’m like “That’s enough exercise for today”
127 HOURS but me trying to get my hand out of the Pringles can
Lisa never talks about her younger brother, Lava Lampanelli.
Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “East.”
I start undressing you with my eyes. About halfway through, your zipper gets caught on my cornea and I start screaming in agony.