@sarcasticmommy4: Thanks to daylight saving time, my kids now have an extra hour to fight with each other.
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@MichaelTrying: "I maintain an elaborate system of thousands of solar panels, but once a year I throw them away because screw it I'll make more." -Trees
@bridger_w: "Oh, are you driving?" -Good question to ask someone as they force you into their trunk
@BraandoCommando: Me: I would like this urn Clerk: of course, sir. Who is it for? Me: my wife Clerk: oh, I’m so sorry [later] Wife: no I do not like my Christmas present