@NoogsCorner

That awkward moment when Batman opens the condom compartment instead of the Batarang compartment in his utility belt.

That awkward moment when Batman opens the condom compartment instead of the Batarang compartment in his utility belt.

- @NoogsCorner

You Might Also Like

@partlyfunny

My 11 yo noticed my receding hairline and thought it was hilarious. Until I explained how heredity works.

@MoneypennyNaked

*deletes your contact information*

Siri: Are you sure you really want to do that? You’ve already deleted and re-added this guy 17 times.

@Lisa_Laughs_

My solution to everything is fire. How do I get out this stain? Fire. How do you fix a car? Fire. How do you break up with someone? FIRE!

@burntmybagel

Drugs are great until they fall into the wrong hands. I am referring, of course, to the cops or people who don’t enjoy life.

@JohnLyonTweets

The enemy of my enemy is my friend unless they don’t dance and if they don’t dance well they’re no friend of mine.

@rdthought

Girlfriend: Stop lying around on the couch all day.
Me: But you said we needed to start conserving energy.

@CharmandBrains

Every morning I wake up and every morning there is no breakfast in bed. We have got to do something about this level of poverty!

@radtoria

Cute guy: Can I pet your dog?
Me: (several blocks later) I have soft hair too. 🙁

@i_wantMyBiitch

I gently slid her panties to the side….

so that I cud fit the rest of her socks in the drawer.

@QwertyJones3

[gynecologist making small talk during an exam]

DOCTOR: So you’re in the military?

HER: Yes

DOCTOR: Well thank you for your cervix