@awkwardphilippe: That awkward moment when your date says she has a hair piece but later you find out she was saying herpes.
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@roxiqt: Due to personal reasons, I've decided to become a mermaid that lures sailors to their doom.
@RobElliottComic: That show Scrubs is bullshit. Not one person in this hospital joined in my song and dance number.
@ElizaBayne: If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now