That will be $6.34, and would you like to donate a dollar to the children’s hospital or do you prefer being judged by a Taco Bell employee?

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MOCKINGBIRD: Blah blah blah! Harper Lee is an idiot!
HARPER LEE: I just had a great idea for a book.


Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it.


Walk into the club like whatup OWW
Walk into the mace like what DAMN
Walk into the sword like wha *dies*
*flunks gladiator school*


What woman say right before they kill you:

No problem.
I’m not mad.
Nothing’s wrong.
Sure, stay friends with your ex.


I need a pet that is quiet, obedient and doesn’t jump on the furniture.

I think I need a hard boiled egg.


I just got a text saying they lost my cell number & could I send it. This is the level of stupid I deal with.


pope: love all
*everyone cheers*
*he serves a tennis ball right into the crowd*
pope: fifteen-love


Sometimes you just have to roll down your car window and bark at people to see what they do.


I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid.


This day in history. 1973. Pablo Picasso died leaving behind his wife, 4 children, and a dog with piano key teeth and a halibut for a tail.