@Ms_Moneypenny_: The 1st to apologize is the bravest. The 1st to forgive, the strongest. The 1st to forget, the happiest.nnThe first to kill the other, WINS.
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@Brampersandon_: [Super Villain Team Tryouts] COACH: Tell me what you can do MAGNETO: I can manipulate metal LOKI: I'm a god THE PENGUIN (shoving his way to the front): I LIKE PENGUINS!
@dannyboy7813: Me: I've got distressed genes. Friend: Don't you mean distressed jeans. M: Have you met my family?
@lacybronze1: Why non-smokers don't take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
@tayandmae: According to my iPhone 6, I could commit a heinous crime, without using gloves, and have a different fingerprint just minutes later
@sixfootcandy: Husband: How did the toaster break? Me: I have no idea. I only dropped it once.
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