@lejessica: The 80's called and they want you to stop saying they called.
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@lwhit_the_boss: A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.
@the_mom_dot_com: I just got laid. But don't worry, I was totally thinking about you guys the whole time.
@upsidedowntrash: [carrot slice falls on the floor] Ah well I guess it's in the trash with you [potato chip falls on the floor] YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE.