I could NOT have put it better myself.
The awkward moment when Lady Gaga has no idea what to wear for halloween.
You Might Also Like
Oh, lovely. You’re doing your jogging in the street. Where cars drive.
Over 40 means you go to the bathroom one more time “for good measure”.
Curiosity is on #Mars. Sure went a long way after killing the cat.
me: can you tell me what’s wrong with my car?
techician: sure..I’ll take a look
technician: it’s not too bad..
me: thank god..what is it?
technician: eh..just shit in the cylinders
me, completely clueless about cars: wow…how frequently should I do that?
HER: wanna get outta here? *winks*
ME: hell ya
HER: whatya thinkin?
ME: lets go to my place and arm wrestle
ME: u scared?
“911 whats ur emergency”
omg im DYING
“we’ll send someone right awa–”
i met THE funiest guy
“ok wait so ur not actualy–”
AND HE STABBED ME
Son: I’m gay, dad.
Dad: no I’m gay dad
Dad #2: no I’m gay dad
Waiter: what can I get you?
Me: I’ll have what she’s having
Her: two divorces then please
Me: If you love them, let them go
*releases third child into nearby forest preserve*