@DothTheDoth: The best books are the ones that no matter how many times you burn them or bury them in the woods, they always wind up next to your bed.
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@Becky_DDB: Science tip: you can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
@UncleDuke1969: Son: Dad? Me: Yeah? S: Do you have a plan for the 'Zombie Apocalypse'? M: Sure do. S: What is it? M: To run faster than you & your sister.
@FaisalAdam_: This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform...
@Gupton68: I know my car needs a wash and valet, but with 3 kids still at home I figure I may as well wait until the youngest moves out. She’s 7.