@TheTweetOfGod: "The Bible" running on the History Channel is like "Dragons" running on Animal Planet.
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@SteelCityDawn: A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded.nWhat in the hell do they put in butterflys?
@HlaoRoo: NRA member: I've got guns. I'm in charge. Me: That's nice. I've got bubonic plague - "cough, cough" - now you do, too. I win.
@MarfSalvador: [dinner date] me: here, let me get the door for you her: no I got it me: ffs it's MY microwave