THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985): Five white heterosexual suburban American 17-year-olds manage to find common ground.

You Might Also Like


Before seeing why your toddler has been quiet for 10 mins it’s best to first call the plumber and write your apology letter to the landlord.


Unless you’re going to tell me there’s a sniper target on me, I can wait for you to finish chewing to hear what you have to say. Thanks.


“You can have more degrees than a thermometer & still be dumb as shit.”

– Old Southern Proverb


“Shut the door, drop your pants, and get on top of me.” -My toilet


There are pants in the bathroom trash can at work, so someone is having a worse day than you.


I’d be a terrible coroner. My reports would say something like: Subject is 44yo male. Cause of death, asphyxiation. Nice jaw. One unruly eyebrow. Strong hands. Excellent manscaping. We probably would have been great friends, possibly lovers. 8/10 stars.


My mom when I was a kid:

“Never talk to strangers.”

“Never get in their cars.”

Me to my future kids:

“Here’s how to order an Uber.”


Don’t talk to me about hardship. You guys will never have to refold a road map.


“sir do u know why i pulled u over”
*hands cop box of crayons*
“sir plea-
*hands cop coloring book*
*cop starts coloring*


COP: do you know why I pulled you over?

ME: *hands him a puppy and drives off*

[3 years later]

COP *walking his dog*: wait a second…