@madlymomming

The bright side of 2020 being the worst year ever is that it will drastically reduce the amount of “hindsight is 2020” jokes next year.

You Might Also Like

@UnFitz

Five Secrets of Successful People:

1. Don’t
2. Tell
3. Anyone
4. Your
5. Secrets

@ThugRaccoons

Son: What is wrong with those people?

Me: Stop staring. They’re indigenous to Wal-Mart. We are the outsiders here.

@QwertyJones3

Let’s name him something that will make children smile

“How about Santa?”

Ok but let’s add something fierce so they are afraid to defy him

@Merman_Melville

(Guy who was trapped in a well for 20 years standing in front of the Get Well Soon cards at the pharmacy, frowning)

@AntozWolf

“I’m having a public meltdown!!” – A Snowman, maybe.

@NikiWithIssues

I’m gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception.

@Sickayduh

This girl won’t stop crying because I told her that selfie filters wear off in 6 months.

@skedaddle74

I admire people who make it easy to find the refrigerators cheese drawer when you visit their home.

@SladeWentworth

Remind me again … how many glasses of wine does it take to cook a turkey?

@TheMichaelRock

Only attractive people that get laid all the time troll people on the internet. Everybody knows that.