@behindyourback: the children's version of "The Catcher In The Rye" is called "My Little Phony"
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@Tetley6969: At the restaurant I heard a lady say her taco was too salty. My wife had to leap over the table and cover my mouth before I said something.
@realHamOnWry: *unexpected snow fall* Americans: “It’s the end. The apocalypse is here!” Canadians: “Huh…I might need a jacket"
@4SLars: I won't ever use botox. I want everyone to know when I'm scowling at them. My general disdain is much more powerful than my vanity.