@UncleDuke1969: the day my uncle Dan played his final game of “I got your nose”
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@GingerHotDish: Nothing prepares you for the love you have for your children, or for your own ability to say I don’t know a million times a day without snapping their adorable little necks.
@longwall26: I know this is only our second date, Susan, and maybe I'm moving too fast, but I'd like permission to rename your cat.
@samuelhlowe: The best way to return any clothing left at your place is to do a drive-by with a t-shirt gun on her wedding day.